My saving grace was having children/stepchildren. Now they have families of their own, so I spend most of the holidays with them. I travel to them and stay with one of them. I spend only one or two days with FOO and spend the rest of my time with children's families.They have lovely families.

Years ago, I nearly wrote off anyone with dysfunctional behaviors or attitudes, but you know there is dysfunction in nearly every family (hence the appeal of funny holiday movies such as Christmas Vacation). Since then, I've developed more compassion, which has led to more tolerance and patience. Not everyone has has years of therapy or insight into their issues or education, but I tend to be more accepting these days. I'm also a forgiving person by nature. And afterall, it's Christmas.

BUT, I feel extreme guilt after being around FOO, which can feel quite painful since the degree is so extreme. I'm experiencing it now, have no answers, and planned to discuss with T at our upcoming session. I've been feeling so anxious since I left and am only now recognizing this as guilt. It's really sad seeing how some in my FOO are too. I think I have to just let go of that. I sort of have been compartmentalizing up until today, so was able to enjoy myself. I had a really good holiday. Busy but cheerful.