I understand the desire to be perfect to someone you genuinely love and care about. I was, and still am, like that with my father growing up, even though he was very tough and rigid and emotionally abusive.

But please don't change your habits because of some perceived lack of perfection. First of all, there's no such thing. Second, transference (from both sides) is a very normal, real part of therapy.

Hell, some therapists believe that relationship or what it represents is more important than any actual words said to one another.

I think the "**** you" emails might be a bit much, but if that's part of the process and your T hasn't told you to knock it off or tone it down then so be it