Hello marie: Since this is your first post, here on PC... welcome to PsychCentral.
I'm sorry you are having such a difficult time.
Hopefully coming here to PC can be of some comfort & support.
Since you mentioned being in college one additional forum, here on PC, that may be of interest to you would be the school & study issues forum. Here's a link:
https://forums.psychcentral.com/scho...-study-issues/
I don't know as there is a lot I can offer you in the way of suggestions regarding what you're experiencing.
Perhaps other PC members may have some thoughts they will wish to share. We here on PC can't offer mental health diagnoses. And, besides, I'm not a mental health professional. From a lay-person's perspective, I see a number of different possible mental-health-related concerns embedded within what you wrote. But that's just my personal opinion. I think the way to untangle everything that is going on with you is to seek the services of a skilled mental health therapist & work with that person to figure out what is going on & what to do about it.
In the meantime, however, here are links to a selection of 12 articles, from PsychCentral's archives, that may be of some help, several of these by our host Dr. John Grohol, Psy.D:
Depression - What is it really? Can it Be Treated?
Living with Depression: A Guide for Coping with Depressive Feelings
Anxiety Disorders - Learn the Symptoms & Treatment
Social Anxiety Overview
https://psychcentral.com/lib/6-ways-...ocial-anxiety/
https://psychcentral.com/blog/back-t...dium=popular17
https://psychcentral.com/blog/mental...lege-students/
https://psychcentral.com/lib/depress...tudents/?all=1
https://psychcentral.com/blog/coping...the-workplace/
https://psychcentral.com/blog/hyper-...dium=popular17
https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-do...r-john-grohol/
https://psychcentral.com/find-therapist/
I hope you find PC to be of benefit.
