I could be wrong, but I get these feelings with my T when I want him to just care about me and say it. I am not direct in saying what I need, because I often don't know what I need.

The story of the girlfriend, and you feeling like your dad might have chosen to live if you were more perfect is vulnerable and brave. I feel a big pang for the kid you were, the impossibility of kids saving their parents- all of that.

He didn't seem to respond wth empathy to the salient part of what you were saying.

Over time, I have realized when my T misses my emotional message, he is sad and sorry and confused if I put it out directly, even though it seemed obvious to me what I was messaging.

Could it be he didn't hear you?

Therapy is just so hard sometimes.