Quote:
|
I won't ever discuss this with her. I feel very ashamed of my reaction to her demeanor. I'm not exactly sure what is causing such intense shame, but it's definitely very powerful. And the thought of discussing this with her makes me want to disappear. I have been in therapy for close to 14 years now. I have never brought up anything interpersonal with a T before, and I can't imagine starting now.
|
If you don't bring this up to her, it seems like you aren't addressing some core issues. I experienced profound neglect to and understand the impact.
My T is also psychodynamic and a psychoanalyst, and like lrad's, said he doesn't do supportive therapy. However, I spent a great deal of time working through similar transference. We've had some huge ruptures, some due to his inadequacies. I quit and came back, and he then adjusted the way he works; just a relatively minor adjustment, but it helped. I have worked through many issues, and while some are resolved, I regret staying as long as I did since I am worse off in other ways (ie, I have almost no defense mechanisms at all left).
I agree with IDIMW and think finding comfort outside of therapy is the way to go--especially before it's too late. I personally don't want to be look back a decade from now and regret putting too many eggs in the therapy basket as that will only lead to disappointment or resentment.
You stated you don't know why you feel such shame. I think that could be transference reflecting a core issue.
Take care.