It's a neurological thing, not a cognitive thing. When it happens again you will get triggered again and respond in the same way, because that kind of trauma response comes from the amygdala rather than the temporal lobes, and the amygdala overrides cognition when it gets activated.

Again, this is nothing to be shameful about at all, on the contrary it is entirely predictable behavior given the circumstances! Shame be gone. Your brain did an awesome kob of keeping you safe when your parent was unresponsive. Just needs to download a bit of an update for current day life, tis all!