I appreciated the entire post with fantastic advice, but wanted to comment on this piece. My T is also trauma-trained and experienced, and attends many neurological CE's on the topic. In the past nine years, I've had several rounds of very intense CSA work. Mine was different than what Amyjay describes, but based on the same principle, which is that the traumatic material needs to be brought into the space of the session and worked in some way. And the magic that happens is that it does change the neurological pathways that bring rise to those feelings of worthlessness, shame, fear, pain, desolation, etc. Because you are sitting there with T being able to talk about what's going on, which both gives you a little distance from it and unhooks it from the "groove" (I like this word because even though it is physically wrong, our neurological pathways can't be seen except via MRI and even then . . . ) because to me that sense of falling through a trap door feels like water rushing down a groove of a pathway of stones that have been well worn by time.

Two great books written for a general audience about the neurological piece of trauma are Mindsight and Buddha's Brain.

I don't think it particularly matters how you get the stuff around the feelings of trauma into session, whether you can do it in the moment (which for me was a product of a process after a period of bringing up things from the past session and asking for T's help discussing it) or as Amyjay suggested or in some other way. But I don't think it has to do with T's "reaction" as you say, which I think is intended to be "small" as not to overwhelm you and your responses to it, as you cognitively are aware of it is not the same as your abusers. As Amyjay said, it's critical to put your feelings out there and your T will understand it's not about her or a criticism of her, and you can "talk about talking about it" and what might be helpful to you. I'm not sure how long you've been in this place, but I think it takes a while at first to figure out how to put traumatic material out there in the space of therapy and have it be contained and manageable, what is now a flood of emotions can be reduced to a gentle stream so you can give words to the feelings and memories and where those take you.

I'd say my trauma work in therapy went from me as dissociated babbling idiot to me as someone who could take out a piece of it (usually triggered by the world in general, which offers plenty of material) and feel and think and be in the midst of it, with a foot planted in the now. There were times when I was doing this that I could literally feel my old neurological pathways fritzing out like a bad electrical connection and branching off into something diffused and (in my imagination) new and pink and fresh.

https://smile.amazon.com/Buddhas-Bra...ddha%27s+brain

https://smile.amazon.com/Mindsight-N...ords=mindsight