I have a friend who is very decent but appears to have obsessive tendencies.

Obsessed with controlling my life helping and giving me things. If he gets a new TV do i want the old one?. Well, why would I? if it is not good enough for him why would it be good enough for me? And he knows i have a good tv anyway. a few weeks ago it was a stereo system. but he knows i have a good one

I bought something i have to collect-he wil lbe with me- and just casually mentioned hope it fits in my car. immediately he wants to bring his brother along with a bigger car. Then he wants to go to the home of a person who has one of what i am buying and see if it fits in my car. I cannot believe i am hearing this. Mine would be packed a certain way anyway so it make no difference if that one did fit

if i say i am trying to learn something new and we go for coffee and he meets someone with this skill he will bring him over to 'give me tips' i am very careful what i say now.

And coffee. He will text for coffee and say he wants to discuss something with me. we do similar work but it turns out it could be said in a text. He then won't leave the coffee shop. Three hours to drink a coffee. So much now i had started to say "I am going now do you want to stay" after about an hour Now i just say i do not want to go.

I had told him i may call to X- a mutual friend- on Xmas eve so on xmas eve this subject of this thread phoned me asking me was i going and he would come with me. i said no then he wanted me to go to him for a drink. I knew he had that planned because he let it slip earlier in the week. you may say nothing wrong with asking someone for a drink at xmas but the point is it was he who had it arranged in his own mind, the time it would be etc. He is always trying to arrange people's lives

He is also very dismissive of X who has bipolar when talking about X to me. mocking his accent etc. He is also very dismissive of me if i text him when he is watching a movie. i get back a reply with see you during the week added. That is a away f ending the text conversation. But if it suits him he will want to spend ages texting. I have more or less stopped texting too. He has this thing when his work is done and everything finished he thinks i have nothing to do only spend three hours over coffee. He is very judgemental too of women and how many childen they have. Two rooms three children he says is bad.

What is wrong with someone like that? It is getting worse. Looks to me like obsession with helping people /giving them things. he is always giving people things. is it about control.? It is not agressive. Can people be controlling without being agressive or even realising it?

I am staying away from him for the moment and collecting my thing some day his brother is not available. it looks like i will have to bring him as i have promised. if i can get out of it i will. i won't be controlled like that

Does anyone know what this is about? He is driving me crazy so much i am avoid as much as possible