I'm sorry that you feel judged, DP. I think you are going through a hard time, and I wish for things to get better for you.
FWIW I have often been given the advice not to make major decisions when you are very emotional. So in this situation, I wonder if that could mean sitting with your feelings and making a plan to 'check in with yourself' at this time next year, and see whether you feel you want to report your former T at that point?