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Old Dec 28, 2018, 03:13 PM
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ScarletPimpernel ScarletPimpernel is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2013
Location: US
Posts: 9,023
Quote:
Originally Posted by justbreathe1994 View Post
I am not looking for revenge and I know for a fact she will never talk to me again if I report her, so I would not report her for that reason. I had a long conversation with my T about it. I know it’s not for revenge because I actually would feel TERRIBLE reporting her. The main reason I do not want to report her is because I don’t want to hurt her.

At the same time, she was unclear about the boundaries from the beginning. At first, she told me she would think about being friends after therapy ended. She told me she loved me, she hung out in my dorm room, other providers talked me out of switching to a different therapist when I wanted to and was hurt by her (saying ex T was the best at the clinic). In the beginning, m dietician said that ex T loved me and when I asked her if it was more than ex T’s other clients she said yes (I don’t think she had any idea what she was saying). Ex T would pass me notes with hearts during groups. She did this all knowing my history with my previous therapist before her and yet, she still treated me special. When she saw I was taking it “wrong” she dramatically stopped everything (except the I love yous). I told her numerous times during group that I was suicidal but she never checked in with me.

I am feeling a bit judged by people on this forum. I feel like people think I just want to report her because she terminated me suddenly and I’m looking for revenge because of it. I already feel awful about crossing her boundary. I understand what I did was wrong. But can she take responsibility for her part too?
Being friends after therapy is not unethical. Loving a client isn't unethical. Being in your dorm room isn't unethical. What other providers said doesn't make her unethical. Passing notes isn't unethical. When you took it wrong, she did right by changing her method. It's not the therapist's responsibility to check in outside of session.

I'm sorry, but it doesn't seem like she did anything outrageously wrong. In fact, a lot of it you probably didn't see as wrong until after termination.
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