Okay, so coming from someone who just got news that the T they reported was found guilty, I’m iffy on whether or not you should report.

I want to start off my saying that I 100% believe that your T did some messed up things, especially telling you that she loved you and sending you notes with hearts. I’ve had quite a few Ts now, but none of them has ever done anything like that. That seems like a major boundary violation to me. Sure, Ts say that they enjoy working with you and they value your therapeutic relationship, that’s fine, that’s wirhin boundaries. I have even had two Ts tell me that I was one of their favorite clients that they ever worked with, and that starts pushing it, but given context (unfortunate termination due to circumstance), it was appropriate, in my eyes. But the hearts and the love? If a therapist said that to me, it would probably really mess me up. Now, I was looking through the list of all of the Ts that were disciplined in the last 10 years in NY state and the reasons why, and boundary violations came up quite frequently as a reason for discipline. The problem is, I’m not sure how those people proved it. I’m assuming they had either written proof or a recording of proof. There has to be concrete proof and not just a he said/she said type thing. If you have any of those notes saved, if you have any emails, voicemails, etc saved that show that your T crossed these boundaries/was inappropriate, then I personally think that you might have a case.

As far as the wrongful termination part. It seems like a wrongful termination ethically, but I’m not sure it can warrant disciplinary action. Ts can terminate you if they feel you crossed a personal boundary for them and because of that, they don’t feel like they can effectively work with you. I don’t remember 100% of the details of your previous posts, but did T give you a termination session and refer you elsewhere? Because if so, then she did do her job and you probably can’t get her on that one.

As far as the suicidal thoughts piece, it’s okay for a T to hear about your suicidal thoughts and not do anything about it at that moment, as long as you are not acutely actively suicidal and in danger of hurting/killing yourself or someone else. That’s the only time they have the duty to act, and you have to prove to the board that something happened to you (ie a suicide attempt) as a result of T’s negligence, and that T knew that you were a danger to yourself acutely and needed to be hospitalized. In my case, I had concrete proof in the form of voicemails T left me and I had a very serious suicide attempt. I don’t know your full story, but my interpretation of what you said is that nothing ended up happening as a result of your T ignoring this, and if that’s the case, technically she did make the right judgment call.

I know some of this you probably don’t want to hear and people can be a little harsh on here when it comes to talking about reporting Ts. I do want to re-iterate that I believe what your T did was ethically wrong and I don’t hold a high opinion for her in the slightest. She’s way too overly sensitive for this job if you driving by her house bothered her that much. I’ve heard of way worse things that clients have done to therapists and those Ts didn’t terminate. It would be different if you did it repeatedly...but one time...my god...

That all being said, I like the suggestion of several people above. I think you should write a complaint and with it see what concrete proof you have. It doesn’t mean you have to file it, just writing it might be a therapeutic exercise. Writing it might also bring out how you really feel about the situation and whether your gut tells you to actually submit it still after you’re done, or if even writing it will be too upsetting to you.

Keep in mind, you don’t have to know she’s guilty to file the complaint, that’s for the board to determine. Nothing will become public record unless she’s disciplined (at least that’s how it works in my state), but the negative thing is that it can really mess up her life for a little while and distract her from her work with other clients.

How I made the decision on whether to submit the claim or not was by examining why I’m doing it and who would benefit from it. Ultimately, I ended up doing it for both me and my validation, but mostly for all of her other patients who she could really harm with her negligence. Ask yourself, are other patients in danger of her actions? Is she fit to be a therapist? Would she benefit from re-training? Did she ever help you and what did you gain from your therapy with her, outside of the negative aspects?

It’s really a decision that only you can make, but there are a lot of things to consider. I hope this reply helps some and I wish you luck.