Quote:
Originally Posted by Skeezyks
You wrote that you came back here to PC to try to develop into a kinder person so people would like you more. I guess what I want to suggest to you is that, based on my own experience, you can do that. I myself could very easily have become an internet troll. (I still could be.)  But a lady I came to know on YouTube taught me how to be a good person on-line. She didn't know she was doing it. She didn't do it intentionally. But she did it. So perhaps if you can find another member here on PC whose postings you feel good about, & model what they do, you can become the PC member you'd like to be. And the skills you develop here on PC can gradually carry over into real life. I don't know what has brought you to this place where you hate yourself so much. But I do believe, again based on my own experience, there is a pathway to the kinder person you want to be. And I send hugs your way with the hope that you might find your way to it.   |
Thanks.
I just feel something is missing, you know? I observe other people on here being nice to each other but I feel so empty. I have trouble connecting with and understanding people. I feel like other people on here have something that I'm clearly missing. I just cant empathize with people. I feel nothing for anybody. How am I to expect people to care about me if I can't even care about others? How can I love another person if I flat out hate myself?
When somebody says something I don't like I find it difficult not to lash out at them or at least belittle their intelligence. I used to do this even more before I took my break and I don't want to be like this but it's hard not to. There are at least one otherwise nice member that I know for sure that has me blocked and a second person that I would be surprised if they didn't block me because I said some really nasty stuff to them before I disappeared. I wish I could apologize to these people because that's what you do when you upset people, right?
All I do is hurt people. I'm unsure how not to be this way. I want to do better. How do I? I didn't choose to have such a messed up childhood that I lost the ability to feel empathy. That's just what happened. It's not my fault. Why should I be punished further?