Quote:
Originally Posted by DarknessIsMyFriend
Thanks.
I just feel something is missing, you know? I observe other people on here being nice to each other but I feel so empty. I have trouble connecting with and understanding people. I feel like other people on here have something that I'm clearly missing. I just cant empathize with people. I feel nothing for anybody. How am I to expect people to care about me if I can't even care about others? How can I love another person if I flat out hate myself?
When somebody says something I don't like I find it difficult not to lash out at them or at least belittle their intelligence. I used to do this even more before I took my break and I don't want to be like this but it's hard not to. There are at least one otherwise nice member that I know for sure that has me blocked and a second person that I would be surprised if they didn't block me because I said some really nasty stuff to them before I disappeared. I wish I could apologize to these people because that's what you do when you upset people, right?
All I do is hurt people. I'm unsure how not to be this way. I want to do better. How do I? I didn't choose to have such a messed up childhood that I lost the ability to feel empathy. That's just what happened. It's not my fault. Why should I be punished further?
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You are not the only one who feels like this (empty, like you're the only one). You are definitely not the only person who feels empty and like everyone else has it together. Have you ever visited the depression board? Or some of the other boards for personality issues and mental health? You are not alone at all. I myself sometimes feel blank as ****.
If you have trouble connecting with people and understanding them, well, I think it's a good thing to 1. admit and 2. be aware of. Maybe it's a part of your diagnosis. Or it could just be who you are. Regardless, if you are attacking people who are just trying to help, that's a problem. It's good you recognize it. Maybe you would do well with learning interpersonal skills. Everyone needs them, and a lot of people could stand at least a brush up.