I was abused for 10 years by my mean alcoholic stepmother. My family didn’t get me out of there. I ran away at 17. Anyhow every Christmas I get triggered. It’s not as bad as it used to be but I’m struggling today.

She used to tell me just how fat and ugly I was. Reference...I was an average sized teenage girl. I was skinny even. But i thought I was a fat *** bugged eyed b-word like she called me.

I told my t something today I’ve never told anyone. And I feel so ashamed and sad. I used to sneak food when I was a teen. We weren’t allowed to eat just whenever or whatever we wanted. She yelled and made fun of me so much that I stopped eating a lot. I ate very little and lost a ton of weight. She still made fun of me and I was convinced I was a beached whale. I hated myself. She caught me once. And she never ever let me forget I was a fat *** glutton and sneaky!

Now I AM huge. I feel so ashamed I told him that. He’s a good t and I know I am being a tad irrational but I hope I’m not being judged by my weight now.

She was so mean and I can’t stop the tears.