Quote:
Originally Posted by Echos Myron redux
My first therapist (a man) refused to hug me after a difficult session and I found it really difficult to take. I also have a history of being abused by men.
My current therapist (also a man) does hug me and it's something we've talked about a lot. To me, I felt so much shame and self-loathing as a result of my abuse history that my first therapist's refusal felt shaming and reinforced my negative thoughts about myself.
While I understand your therapist's logic, I think the feelings that can emerge from saying no need to be thought about and discussed too. Hugs.
|
Thanks for posting this, as I sometimes wonder if I was crazy to leave my male therapist when he refused to hug me. But his refusal made me feel like he saw me as an unlovable piece of garbage, and like it was wrong for me to look for physical affection from someone who mattered to me.
I'm glad you've found a therapist who can work with you on this. I don't plan to return to therapy, but it's nice to know there are therapists out there who understand that refusing hugs can cause as many issues as giving them.