I learned to view dissociation as Persephone's name being called in the underworld so that turning around was irresistible . I am tempted and enticed by slippage of time and in time, but I can combat it now successfully with therapy tools. That is a huge accomplishment with hard work from T and from me.

I learned that I want T to to be Am Important Male Authority Figure for me to people please, and he always says no for my own good: sometimes gently, sometimes in a way that creates impasses and enactments that are painful to live through. Feeling bereft and stuck is the worst part of therapy. My T and I survived some genuine threats to our relationships in 2018, and also had some touching and healing moments of meeting. The whole of it is messy and painful, and sometimes a wondrous experience.