Quote:
Originally Posted by Lrad123
I can’t imagine that I’d ever want a hug from my T, but I’m pretty sure he’d say no anyway. He once equated hugs with email responses, saying something about how they don’t really solve anything, but just give temporary reassurance. This was part of a conversation where he was explaining why he would no longer reply to my emails. I understand his logic when he explains it, but it doesn’t stick. Sometimes I just wish he’d reply to my emails. So I can understand how if a hug was important to you, a T’s logical answer might not be enough.
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I would chaff at this too. Don't knock temp reassurance. I guess if one just takes takes takes the temp reassurance and does nothing with it then it could harm recovery. But for me I try really hard to then parlay that temp reassurance into something active that will help recovery.
Not in a bargaining way but like, I now feel a tad better having got yr reply which allows me to force myself to go for a walk and then we have a virtuous upward cycle.
Also it doesn't just calm my abandonment fears in the moment but it gives a me little pebbles with which to build a real base of sustainable safety.