Quote:
Originally Posted by will19
Yes, I do, and I don't know why. For the last decades of my life I have spent Christmases alone every year. It seems like it's going to be my destiny from now on.
I feel let down because I like seeing decorations that go up in December. I have been alone for a long time on Christmas, so I don't have any anticipation that it's going to be fabulous. But then I would think, "you never know". A Christmas "miracle" has never happened for me.
Also there's some days off from work and the pace slows down. People tend to be in better moods. Though this past week, it was much busier and stressful than I expected. The Monday following New Years Day is always the worst day to be at work. It means that it's back to 5-day work weeks and a good while before any time off. But I do get over it a week or less after New Years.
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Hello Will19. So sorry to hear of your pain
I too deal with holiday depression and have spent plenty of holidays (T'giving, Xmas, NYE/NYD, my birthday) completely alone. I'd like to offer you a few thoughts which have helped me.
Try not to tell yourself that it is your "destiny" to be alone on the holidays. Have you heard of a self-fulfilling prophecy? Research suggests that when people tell themselves that a negative thing will occur or continue to occur, it is more likely because the mind becomes skewed toward focusing on the negatives. I live with depression so I know how that goes and I know it's not easy to deal with but there are research-based strategies which help
Instead of telling yourself: "it is my destiny to be alone on the holidays" you could tell yourself "I'm going to live a life of intention. I don't enjoy being alone on the holidays so I'm going to try a new approach. And this new approach may require that my expectations are a bit different."
For example, have you tried volunteering on the holidays? That is a great way to connect with other people, to actually spend time with them and not be alone...it is a wonderful feeling to help another and can really help to relieve the darkness of depression. It may not fit with your ideal holiday (that's different for everyone) but I have a hunch that it could bring you much more peace and joy than waiting each year for something to spontaneously change on it's own. Does that make sense?
You mentioned that you have never experienced a "Christmas miracle." What if you decide to create your own Christmas miracle or a NYE miracle by doing something wonderful for yourself or volunteering or a random act of kindness for a stranger who may also be struggling with the holidays?
I have created several threads on the PC forums which are designed to help people when they have holiday depression or any day depression. I invite you to join any of these threads. You would be very welcome
Remembering compliments to feel better
Gratitude?
Share something nice that you did for someone
Something goofy to make you smile for a moment!
https://forums.psychcentral.com/depr...ay-season.html
Managing depression and anxiety without drugs
The Kindness of Strangers
Good News Network
Share some music that soothes or energizes you
For anyone feeling sad, frightened, weary, or hopeless
In the meantime, please know that I care about your loneliness and I wish you unconditional safe love, peace, and healing energy for 2019 and beyond! You deserve it Will19.
