Quote:
Originally Posted by Echos Myron redux
If he's not willing to rethink the boundary (and to be honest, changing boundaries can be problematic too) it might be enough to discuss what the refusal means for you and what feelings it raises. If he handles that discussion well (unlike my first therapist) it might become a really therapeutic discussion.
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I couldn't agree more.
I think if my therapist had acknowledged my feelings AND the possibility that his decision was wrong, there might have been a chance of moving forward with him. It might also have shed light on why I needed the hug (which I've now somewhat figured out on my own).
Piggy, your therapist can say no to a big, but don't let them wriggle out of the discussion of how it will impact your therapy going forward. Don't let him unilaterally decide what kind of support and caring would be best for you. You're a team.
I think therapists need to encourage clients to trust their instincts. Supportive touch can be a healthy and good thing for some people, and therapists need to explore this with clients before they just give a flat 'no'. Therapists can decide touch isn't part of their working style, but they don't get to tell the clients whether it's part of theirs.