This is going to sound strange.....But, I admire you!

I am so very sorry that your pain and the desperation to relieve it, forced you to do so in the only way that you could at the time. I honestly do understand the way you can sometimes feel that the options are so few I am very grateful that you are physically ok.

I admire you because what you asked your t. is THE most difficult question to ask. Our vulnerability is put on the table and that is sooo hard and scary. The fact that you did that is so very meaningful. Speaking just for me, I haven't even come close.

I think your t. could have handled it more professionally, I'm sure he understood the risk you were taking. Perhaps he could have talked about your feeling or described how t's are able to care very much and yet must stay removed to be able to help you. Just saying "no" seems like a lazy, cop-out. to me. The word "love" conjures up so many different, powerful feelings in all of us.

Be strong and oh so gentle with yourself. We here DO love you. I promise.

tulips