Hi all just a small update today since I have time before the party. I went to the gym for a little while just to decompress and try to make things look a little nice; I still hate exercising but I'm getting better at. I went home and took a quick shower so that I didn't smell of gym for the party. I asked my stylist if we could move the styling of the colored hair to a different day and he was like of course so he did my hair for the party; it's really nice and of course really pretty since I no longer have roots showing.

I ended up deciding to rearrange my Buspar for today I took it this morning around eight but I won't take my afternoon medication until 7 tonight an hour before the party so I will be nice and calm instead of on edge at the amount of people. I figure I would still like my bedtime Buspar since I think it's helps me fall asleep quicker since my brain is calm of anxious thoughts, I usually take my meds at 7, 2, 10, and right before bed. I'm not feeling anxious and it's almost two hours after I take the afternoon Buspar so I think I will be okay for one night since it does have such a sad half life.

I'm feeling excited about the party but at the same time I don't really like large social situtations; it's not social anxiety just my plan old anxiety disorder wanting to make things worse. I also don't know when I'm going to get my night meds since I really don't know how long this party is supposed to go on for, so I hope taking my Seroquel later than usual won't tip the scale.

Hugs to everyone and Happy New Year's Eve I hope 2019 is a great year for everyone; it seems like 2018 was kind of bad for a lot of people here myself included.