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mckell13 said:
I've mentioned several times that what makes therapy so difficult for me is that I am not always sure of the rules of engagement. I want a clearly defined set of rules for this therapeutic relationship. A therapeutic relationship manual. I have commented several time about being confused and wanting these rules defined and SHE HAS NOT GIVEN ME THIS!!!!

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">Have you asked for it and she said, "no"? Sometimes my T doesn't get the hints I drop and he really likes me to learn to be able to clearly ask for what I need. So sometimes he won't "bite" when I drop hints. And if your T has said "no", can you ask her why not? All T's should give the basics in the informed consent form you sign on the first day. If you don't have a copy of this, ask for one. Beyond that, you should be able to ask specific questions about the therapeutic frame and get a straight answer. Such as, "how many sessions a week can I have?", "under what circumstances can I call you between sessions?", "how often can I call?", "how long can the calls be?", "do you charge extra for calls?", "can I email you between sessions?", "how often?", etc. It seems like all of those can be answerable and I see it so often here on PC that people don't know the answers to these questions and it causes them untold grief. (Not that I know all the answers to these questions for my own T, but I am getting better at asking him stuff that is not spelled out in the consent form. For example, a couple of weeks ago, he gave me 3 choices for appointment times the following week, but I had left my calendar in my car. I asked him could I go down to my car and send a text message to his cell phone telling him my choice. He said "no." Whoopsie. I learned a new rule.)

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alas, there is no such manual. lol. i, too have asked the same quesion of my t. I'm confused, i need to know how this works... i'm not going any further until i know. not even a look of compassion - just a change of subject.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">I am really puzzled by that, Kiya. Why would your T not answer?