Echoes,
I think my wanting to outline specific rules of engagement is likely linked to trust and my desire for consistency. Sunrise, no have have not asked for a manual. I did at one point send her a list items to directly check if I was understanding both of our roles in therapy. I stated I wanted to be clear and wanted to make sure the assumptions I was making were appropriate. She kindly went through each item during the session and confirmed that my assumptions and expectations were correct.

Honestly, the things that make me most uncomfortable is the relationship itself. Since it is so different from other relationship I'm having trouble. I think she is not giving me what I want because I need to learn for myself how to deal with creating and maintaining close relationships. So she is just playing along.