Ill try and summarize this but it will probably be somewhat longwinded.

I am 38 and he is 40. *We have been dating for about 3 months and talking for about about a month before going on our first date. *He knew I had a looming surgery coming up that was going to put me out of commission for a while and he was so incredibly supportive. *This man did everything to help me. *Ive never had a guy do the things for me that he has so willingly. I never asked him to do anything he always insisted.*He isn't typically the type of guy that I go for but the way he has treated me made me fall for him. *I was so busy working so much preparing for this surgery and holidays that he made so many sacrifices to help me and to just be around me even if it meant just sitting at work with me and helping me close up. *He even called into work several times to go with me to dr appointments. He lives a little over an hour away so its not like its a short hop to get to me. *He was ALWAYS coming to me......I have never been out to his place but I want to go and I have been invited but work has interfered.

Ive had several moments where I felt guilty about the surgery knowing that I wasnt going to be able to offer much to a relationship and worried about being able to reciprocate or give him what he needs from a relationship and he didn't blink. *He has been so supportive. *The month before the surgery he and I weren't able to spend much quality time together like we had. *We basically had not had much for physical contact with each other other than little kisses here and there. 1 week I had the flu, 2nd week he had the flu, 3rd week I had a horrible reaction to a medication AND it was Thanksgiving, 4th week I was working such crazy hours, 5th week was my surgery. *Ive been insecure about the lack of quality time we have not spent together and the surgery was just going to prolong that.

I had the surgery and haven't been able to do anything matter for a month now. *My mother was here with me for 3 weeks and am now able to get by with out her. *I suffer from anxiety and take medication to control it. *I wasnt allowed to take it before and after surgery due to its ability to cause cramping which I have had issues with. *The week of my surgery I started noticed that he wasnt communicating with me as much. *His texts were fewer and farther between although he did come out on 2 occasions to help my mom with some things and be with me. *Let just say he has seen me at my absolute worst. *9 days after my surgery I started experiencing a lot of anxiety when I stopped taking my the pain meds on top of not being able to sleep, eat, go to the gym, work or do anything in which helps ease my anxiety. *I had a moment where he didn't respond to me as quickly as I guess I thought he needed to and I came down on him accusing him of losing interest, blowing me off/disregarding me and telling him to be honest with me and himself. *Had my anxiety not been such an issue then I would have been abled to pick up on the fact that he was busy with work responsibilities that I knew he had.*He didn't respond until the next day and I kind of came down on him again. *Wasnt until later on that day I had a discussion with a friend who is now my physical therapist and my surgeon to discover that I was experiencing withdraw from the pain meds plus the effects of not being on anxiety meds. *I felt horrible and tried reaching out to him to tell him I was sorry. *I didn't want to text it so I asked him to call me and he didn't. Next day, I sent a text telling him I had something I wanted to say to him in person or over the phone. *Again, no call. *Following day I called once. *No answer and left a voice mail telling him that I wanted to apologize to him and again....no response. *It was important to me to let him know I was sorry and what was going on with me bc I know I hurt his feelings and I didn't want him to be carrying those feelings around/. *Following day I constructed an email explaining everything with a big apology and ended up having to send it via text bc I didn't have an email address for him and he doesn't have social media in any capacity. *The next day I got a response from him which read:*

"I am ok. I have been overloaded with work, after school lifting, my own workouts and to top it off its a horrible time of year for me. *Last weekend is the date my father passed away and it always hits me very hard. *I shut down when I get overly stressed. *I am sorry but I needed to step away. *I felt like I was bending over backwards to be there for you and that wasnt good enough and it set me over the edge. *I am still very overwhelmed and haven't slept well in 2 weeks due to the stresses. *I hope having my boys the next 2 weeks will help ease the situation. I hope you are doing well."

I let him know that I was supportive of how he felt, that I am here for him and that he IS enough and has done nothing wrong. *I had no clue when the date of his fathers passing was so I was oblivious to that.

After his response, I put together a "care" package with things like a pint of his fav whiskey, scratch off lottery tix, Starbucks and Chipotle gift cards, protein bars, gum and other things with a card that I wrote "I appreciate you and I hope this cheers you up. *I hope you know I am here for you like you have been for me if you let me be." *I dropped it off to the main office of the high school an hour away on the Friday before Xmas break. *Got a response from him of *"Was sweet thanks".

Sent him a "I hope you and the boys are having a Merry Christmas" on Christmas and got nothing back.

He moved back here after 18 years from a different state (9hrs away) bc his ex wife, whom he has been divorced from for 8 years is moving back here to be near family. *He has no family here. *He found a job very quickly at the high school he graduated from as a teacher and a football coach and had to move quickly. He lives with an old childhood friend who is also a divorced single father. *His ex hasn't sold her house or landed a job here so when she and his boys are moving is questionable. *His 2 sons are 10 and 12 and he had not seen them since before the school year started until he got so spend 3ish days with them over Thanksgiving. *Then for 2 weeks over Christmas. I am assuming they will be leaving this coming Friday or Saturday. *He has always been very present in their life so this distance isn't easy or fun for him. *This is his first semester teaching at the school and his first time teaching at a school this size. *The schools he has taught at in past are VERY VERY small. *On top of this he has taken it upon himself with his own money to develop offseason training for the football team with local sports performance professionals bc there has been nothing in place and the athletics has taken a big turn for the worse since he went to school there.

Ive said all I can say and have done all I can do and have been beating myself up for making him feel the way I did but I realize that this is probably far beyond me hurting his feelings. *I just feel responsible for this level of him shutting down bc he said he felt like he was bending over backwards for me and it wasnt enough and it set him over the edge. *I just never asked him to do any of what he did. I am the one who is always bending over backwards for people and I never felt I was able to reciprocate really how very much I have appreciated him.

I dont know if I am just being impatient or if we are over. I definitely dont feel like this is anything we can't work through. I feel like I have done nothing but respect his space and I especially support the space he needs to be with his boys. I hope and expect them to be his #1 priority. I just dont know how long I should wait? * I never guessed he would be the type to just ghost me. Im so hurt over this. *I dont know how to interpret this extended silence since. *He literally could not get enough of me since we started talking up until the week of my surgery. *Im having a hard time with the idea of throwing in the towel. *I have compassion, empathy and sympathy for the situation just bc of all the circumstances he is under right now. *I want to give him the benefit of the doubt. *

Sorry this is so long but any thoughts on this would be greatly appreciated. *Thank you in advance.