Quote:
Originally Posted by willdness
Hey I hope everyone had a good New Year’s Eve.
This is basically all that happened to me last night. So I was talking to my ex boyfriend which was a mistake on my part because he was always highly manipulative but I thought he had changed. So we go to this party with his friends last night. We were all drinking and I got a little too drunk and I passed out on the couch. It was fine, I was fine. Everyone kept talking about me and asking my ex if I was okay. I think he got very irritated about it. So when I woke up we all played pool, I accidentally knocked over his cup of alcohol. He then told me we had to talk alone. He basically told me I’m too drunk to be with his friends and I had to go Home, and that he was upset because everyone thought we were together. I told him I didn’t want to go home because there were a bunch of drunk drivers out. I went back inside and sat on the couch and cried in front of everyone, super embarrassing because they were all people I didn’t know and they were all super snobby. So I went back outside and I told my ex I was walking home. He caught up to where I was to tell me to get in the car and I pushed him out of the way. He insisted I get in the car with him so I did. The whole ride back to my friends house I was calling my friends crying and telling them what happened. I kept telling my ex he was a piece of ****. I ****ed up so bad last night and I lost him. He blocked me on everything. I don’t know how to fix it or move on with my life. I just need some advice or some sort of explanation as to why I did all this. Was the alcohol telling me he isn’t good for me or just my own stupid ***?
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interesting how after the crappy way he treated you, you're concerned with the idea that you "lost" something? IMO you gained insight into the fact that he likely will never change, there's a reason he's an ex and now you have good evidence to seal the idea that he needs to not only remain an ex but you needn't have any contact with this person anymore.
Nothing to fix, you don't sound like you did anything wrong except to choose to be involved in a party with someone you likely had been manipulated and/or abused by before.
The alcohol likely didn't do anything but cause you to be drunk. The fact that he's not good for you remains true. A good friend wouldn't call you embarrassing and make you leave from a party where likely everyone was drunk and being stupid. He lives to make you less than him. It likely has nothing to do with your behavior in particular except that it's you and he knows he can manipulate and control you.
Walk. Away. and never look back. you can do better.