[QUOTE=Kilolea;6386829]

Hello Kilolea. Happy belated birthday! That was a bit of an odd gift to receive. It is very hard to say what your friend's intention was...I always like to remind myself that I cannot know what is in another person's mind or heart...I cannot read minds just as people cannot read my mind...so communication is very important. Gifts can go either way. I've received plenty of gifts down the years which were quite odd but my policy is to always pretend that I liked what I received since someone spent time and money to give me something. I don't take gifts seriously, if that makes sense.

I would encourage you to put the gift issue aside for the moment. Instead, I am curious about why you feel there is some lingering resentment from your friend about that disagreement from a while ago? Is this only because you didn't like the gift or something else? I would not dwell on the gift or rationale for it. What is leading you to feel that way? Just a vibe? Comments? Change in how often you see each other?

I know it is awkward and uncomfortable to address such an issue with a friend but I think it is important here provided this issue is not just about the gift. Try calmly asking something like: "Hey I'd just like to check in. Sometimes lately I feel as though you might have something on your mind. Anything you'd like to chat about? I'd like to hear about it...maybe I can help?" If your friend says "no, not at all, no problem" then just say okay and leave it there. Then if other odd things happen, if he makes passive-aggressive comments or something...gently and calmly ask: "So when you make a comment like that, it feels like maybe you're trying to tell me something, could you be more direct?"

I don't know you or your friend but I always like to look at both sides in a relationship and give people the benefit of the doubt. I wouldn't make an issue of the gift. The real issue is how you interact with each other...possible resentment from your friend. May I ask what it "the fight a year ago" was about?