Long time lurker, first time poster.

In therapy for 3 months. My T is very by-the-book; no emotion, no validation, strict boundaries, no texts/emails/calls. We've been doing trauma stuff. I feel like my anxiety is better, but depression is worse. Kind of like debriding a wound. Short-term relief, but then worsening of depression as I'm left with a gaping hole that I don't know what to do with. So I sent an email to my T saying that bringing up traumatic stuff made me feel broken, that I felt like I was getting worse instead of better, and that I didn't think this was the process for me.

As soon as I sent it, I thought OMGwhatthellamIdoing? That this is probably resistance, or transference, or some combo platter of the above.

But as I was drafting an OMGWTHAID email, I got a response back, telling me good luck in the future. That was it. Goodbye and good luck.

So now what do I do? I feel like I would need to do some groveling in order to go back. But I also don't want to 'start over' with another T and have to talk about all this trauma stuff again.

Thanks in advance for your insights.
Gretchen