That must feel terrible. While my T doesn't allow texts, he set that rule from the getgo. We both know if I called him at home or sent him a text, it would be an absolute emergency. Telling you he didn't even read your text, is like a lifeguard stating he didn't even watch you while you were swimming in the ocean. I am going to hope he DID read your text to make sure you are safe, and is making a rhetorical chess move. Therapy is so difficult around boundaries, bc they often feel like they are for the benefit of the therapist.

Whenever my T changes rules, I am crushed and also I feel power-played and defensive. An example is that for two years he explained why he allowed Christmas presents and accepted them gladly so long as they didn't change the nature of the relationship, and this year suddenly he put up a No Gifts rule in the waiting room. I had brought a gift, so I felt super awkward. It wasn't the gift thing that upset me, but the arbitrary change and the display of power. He explained it is bc now he has a full practice, and he doesn't have the time he used to to be in touch with every gift-giving's deep reasons. That made me feel way worse.

In this situation, you were allowed to reach out, you sent angry texts that helped you regulate, and then your T suddenly said no more or said send them but he won't read them?

It seems like the right thing for him to do is explore with you the triggers that lead to you feeling so angry, and hold up to light the powers at work in your mind that dysreguate you in the first place. The texts are a sideffect or a symptom, not the problem.