Woke this morning to a low weight, made the stupid ED happy. Starting to obsess more over the bones and stuff, did really bad and went on a pro-ana site, then thinking OMG, my weight isn't low at all; I'm fat. I'm a mess. I ran in the rain for an hour this morning, wanted to keep going, but I had to get back in to make lunch. Contemplated another rain run in the afternoon but resisted and read some of my library book. Need a better day tomorrow.


My emotions are all jumbled up; I have no idea how I feel right now. H starts his new job tomorrow, and hopefully, we will get the insurance stuff sorted quickly.