Hugs, colors.

Knowing rationally that the boundary is in your interest and feeling rational about it are entirely different things. Your old dysfunctional way of alleviating distress and regaining equilibrium is no longer on the table. Of course you’re feeling increased distress.

I think Anne is right on the money in that paragraph about empowerment, which can lead to finding heathy ways to alleviate distress, and understanding where our own edges end and others’ begin.

My question is, what is the replacement behavior? From a behavioral teaching perspective, a professional typically doesn’t try to extinguish a behavior without also teaching a (presumably more functional) replacement, which can eventually lead to that feeling of empowerment.