So, I was doing all right, but decided to email my daughter a suggestion, and she got all bent out of shape and is now mad at me (She accused me of parenting her child, and resents me trying to parent her child, instead of her, as if I was saying she is an incompetent parent. Normally, this is something I would bring to T, BUT I CAN'T and it's JUST NOT FAIR! Again and again, my anger rises, with no where to put it.

So I wrote to my daughter saying that I think she's an awesome parent, despite poor role modeling from her own parents (that is, from me, and her father).

Oh, and now I just got an email from my daughter, thanking me for saying what I said. She said she never expected it and really appreciates it.

All these ups and downs happening ALL. THE. TIME.

I STILL want to talk to my therapist, and not the brief telephone check-ins she is currently offering. I'll go along on a sort of dull plateau, and then something happens and I GET ANGRY AGAIN. Unless I find a positive use for the anger, I will become depressed again. Yes, I recognize my patterns. But being able to see what you do, doesn't always mean you can change. I still need her help.

When T finally comes off medical leave, I'll need more than one session in which to process/work through all the negative feelings I've had to deal with.

If anything else (negative) happens today, I'll probably consider phoning my Pdoc. Right now, I feel like crying.