stuff is slowly surfacing, like those long funny worms after a rain.
i can't remember being 6-7. i have a clear picture of 5 and it feels older than 6. i can't find 6 or 7. the next clear thing i can find is 11. and yet 11 is a whole-nother-ballgame. i just posted about it in "remembering pieces" yesterday.
so it is like 6 is struggling to be present, and so is 11 and it confuses me. who am i? am i 6? am i 11? or am i in my 30's?
how can i be all these at the same time?
i want to curl up in a ball and hide in my closet. i want to run from the coming danger. and i am typing here safe in my room with a rehearsal coming up soon that i need to be fully present for.