Oh this is the story of my life right now. I am trying to figure it out. I had major attachment with T. EMDR T and I briefly discussed it; she said T had to build some attachment in order for me trust her plus we worked together for 10 years.

For a long time T was a major safety net. I have others in my life who are willing to help but just dont get much of it. T understood me and we discussed almost everything. For the last few years I worried T would retire and be out of of my life. It was hard. Then she passed away and all my fears came true. It has been painful like nothing else I have experienced.

Now I have Emdr T who I have been working with for a year and a half. When we started working together I still had T so attachment wasnt neceasary. I just needed to be able trust her enough to do Emdr. I knew I could teach out of need be but only needed to once.

Since Ts death it has all changed and I am trying to figure out how to make this work. She has been a HUGE help especially when pdoc went out on medical leave for what I was told was for brain cancer. I have been a mess with trust issues, fear of abandonment and fear of getting to close and getting hurt. It is hard not getting attached. I am trying to just think about her when in therapy...yeah right. We have discussed much of of my fears.