I wanted to let you know that I read your post and that I feel for you.

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My mother blames, judges, tells me that she never wanted children, and that I've ruined her life.

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I grew up with this from my own mother also.

In my own case, I had to get away, so I initially rented rooms in shared houses. I didn't always have great roommates but anything was better than living with very dysfunctional family. Any chance you can do the same?

I understand that you want to save funds first, but do you have a plan in case your current housing suddenly disappears? What if your mom fully kicks you out? Or what if things get absolutely intolerable? What if the house burns down? I'm not trying to be rude or overly challenging here, just want to suggest that you keep those things in mind.

Otherwise, can you spend more time away from the house and change your schedule so you tend not to interact with your mom and her husband?