Hi. I have an update on this.

He now says he has autism and that is why he says the things he does to me.

I don't wish to offend anyone on the forum with that diagnosis, but would appreciate advice on whether this adds up or not. My instinct is no, he will not go to get an official diagnosis either, and says he would not know what to say to a psychiatrist. In my experience people with an autism diagnosis are kind and sensitive, which he is not. Also he can be nice if he wants something and has admitted as much, that he lies to get what he wants. Surely this shows his behaviour is controllable and not a diagnostic issue, certainly not autism?

Would appreciate advice on this, I wonder if I am being unreasonable and should take what he is saying more seriously.