Unless you're keeping him in a cage, I don't see how staying in a marriage that may not be right for *you* (who knows about him, have you asked?) makes you a bad person at all. It's not a requirement for a marriage that both people love each other in some certain kind of way. While "waking up" to pay more attention to how you feel and whether this is marriage what you want for yourself sounds like a productive inquiry, I think it's more important to see things as they are without all the self judgment and unwarranted negativity.