I love my son but his mind exhausts me. I can not help him and he doesn't believe he needs help. He suffers in real and delusional thought. I don't want to know him as he is. I am not understanding how I can think about him in this way. I sometimes feel nothing, no pain of missing my son, no longing to see him, no recollection of who he was to me. This causes me to be hopeless and directionless. Without a purpose. Is it possible to just walk away from my boy. My life my world. Why can't he be the boy I knew. Why can't I help him This is my life and I am lost in it's reality