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Old Jan 05, 2019, 12:09 AM
SheHulk07's Avatar
SheHulk07 SheHulk07 is offline
Magnate
 
Member Since: Oct 2013
Location: CO
Posts: 2,305
Quote:
Originally Posted by healed84 View Post
Just because he is your husband doesn’t mean that it is not rape. Which is prosecutable by law, you know because it’s a crime to rape anybody including your spouse. My guess is your issues with sex (other than the endo stuff) aren’t going to go away with just talking to t about them. You need to be able to feel safe in your own house, and not fear that your husband is going to force himself on you at anytime.

But to answer more directly your question, perhaps there are things that you want to talk about but can’t.. you could maybe write out and have t read, or send an email? That way t reads it and he can start talking about it. My t always encouraged me when I was taking about how I was triggered during sex, to talk without giving all the gritty details. For instance, instead of explaining exactly what was going on.. I could just say, it was something he said during, or the way he touched me. I found over time it became easier, really because of the nature of the abuse sometimes you just can’t avoid talking the details. Just be sure you and t work on grounding techniques, plans for when you are triggered both in and out of session.

But again I repeat.. please find away to make sure you can fee safe in your own home.
Thank you for your response. What you said about talking about it isn't going to make it all go away is what I told my T is part of my hesitation. I know it's not going to solve the bigger issue, so why talk about it?
It's a catch 22 with me because I dwell on it and need a safe outlet to be able to get it out and not be judged. Just to be heard and feel like I'm not crazy and these thoughts I'm having are okay. My T has been doing a good job so far of doing that with what I've shared so far.
Hugs from:
LonesomeTonight
Thanks for this!
Anonymous45127