No I don't feel ashamed. I've only been in once. Almost twice. The second time I went they didn't have any beds available. They sent me home. Pretty sad really. I drove myself home that night. I was alone my husband was at work. I am currently in IOP to keep from being impatient. I had a good experience while in. I am not really ashamed of much. I know it's my disorder that causes me to do things. Some stuff isn't totally my fault. I can't always control my thoughts. I've learned this in counseling over the years and in IOP to. That is why I keep a thought record and journal. It helps to go back and see what I've thought and done at my sickest points. So no I'm not ashamed.