Inyourhonor,

I can definitely tell you have severe abandonment issues. It has led you to destroy relationships. You are also caught between your wife and your sister-in-law. I don't think you should tell your sister-in-law how you feel about her. Please see a therapist ASAP. You may also need to see a psychiatrist in the near future for depression medication. You talked about pessimism and feeling hopeless. These indicate depression. You seem to need both medication and therapy.