Respectfully, I strongly disagree with you on that. She is JUST as responsible as he is for the affair and for potentially devastating and ruining his wife's life.

BOTH are consenting adults committing adultery. Adultery is not a favorable thing in most societies.

I am not attacking you whatsoever, but you are letting the OP completely off the hook for having any responsibility in the matter by saying this. It takes two to tango, and both people are equally responsible.

I do agree that it is a very heated issue that can be extremely triggering for many people. It may be too close to home to some people who have gone through something related or similar.

But as I said, adultery is not viewed favorably in most societies, so many people will have very strong reactions to this.

I had my own reaction, but for a different reason, and out of frustration. I see the OP not progressing and instead as going backwards after a whole year of this being an issue.

It deeply saddens me, for the sake of the OP, who cannot seem to shake herself of believing this affair was true love. It wasn't and isn't true love. He is using her to escape, and has probably had sex with many others while he was away from her. He was doing so before they ended things the last time, which he is why she ended things. She thought he was seeing other women behind her back and found him online doing so, yet he is also married and committed to another woman as it is. He is a philandering adulterer who is using multiple women. But she is also committing adultery with him, so I like I said, she is just as guilty as he is.

And I do not say this in order to shame her. It's the truth of the matter, so I am being matter of fact. It's an affair and it's adultery. There's no way around that.