This has been a not-so-uncommon question from my therapist during my time in therapy. At first, it was often related to unsatisfying responses to emails or even non-responses to emails. Later, he decided not to respond to email at all. All of these situations have been met with the question “how does it feel to get that response or to get a non-response?” Now, after what feels like some prompting from him, I have decided that I’d like to meet with him more than once/week, but as it turns out, it appears there is no way to make this work with our schedules. It felt like a big deal to me because I finally let myself think about meeting a second time per week and I was excited about it and now it’s clear that it will never work. So now, out of habit, I’m thinking about how it feels to not get what I want, and the bottom line is that it sucks. To be clear, I am a self-sufficient adult and am used to not always getting what I want. I get that that’s how life goes. I can accept this in my work world and in my family life, but am having a harder time with this in my therapy relationship. I want something from him - more time, more attention, more care. This is not something I typically allow myself to express or to feel and I feel weird even saying it. But I do feel it and I’ve expressed it and now I feel let down and frustrated. What do I do with that? What’s the point of all this? It seems like therapy for me has been about discovering what I secretly desire, and then having it denied. What’s the good in this?