I have been graphic about the SA in my past, and also pretty graphic about consensual sex itself, especially when the two things were messing about the same space in my head.

Have you been diagnosed with dyspareunia? Or pelvic floor dysfunction? If so, pelvic floor therapy, a very intimate kind of physical therapy, might help. See this article for more explanation: I Needed Physical Therapy To Fix My "Broken" Vagina - Vaginal Physical Therapy

I did this for 9 months after a minor surgery messed up my cr*tch nerves. It was more successful than she describes in the article. My therapist also recommended a medical product that helped a lot and "exercised" my vag. Somehow coming to see it as both a muscle and an object of pleasure was really helpful to me too. The physical therapy helped me get more in touch with my body and my pelvic floor and how one thing related to another.

Another thing that really helped me was the Sexual Healing Journey by Wendy Maltz:
https://www.amazon.com/s/?ie=UTF8&ke...l_7ay8051wuv_e

My advice is to keep talking about it with your T. I would bring in the Maltz book to therapy as I think it had exercises or suggestions and we'd talk about what to do when I felt like __ or I'd think about trying __ and it was helpful to talk about it. I did this both with a female T in my earlier round of therapy and my T now, who's a guy. I was surprised, but it didn't feel much different.

Diana Russell's Rape in Marriage, published in 1982, is a classic in the field. I suggest purchasing a copy (available for around $5 used at Amazon) and putting it on your bookshelf. https://www.amazon.com/Rape-Marriage.../dp/0253205638