I get you Kiya. No need to bow out. Your comments have given me a deeper level of knowing this exchange between me and T.

I understand that your concern is with my not wanting him to think I would want to have sex. Because, in reality, what would be wrong with me wanting to have sex? Right?

There is nothing remotely wrong with anyone (male or female) 'wanting' sex. And yes, culturally, it is accepted that men can 'want' more so than women.

My personal issues about wanting/not wanting sex or not wanting someone to know what I want run very deep and are rooted not only in the culture and times I grew up in but in my mother's denial of her sexuality.

In the "for what it's worth category" I do believe that in his comment, T was saying that it was okay for me to want to have sex with him, with maybe a tad of humor thrown in. But we weren't rolling around on the floor laughing either. He was telling me that my wants, and desires are okay. It was validating.