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Originally Posted by Blueberrybook
Woke this morning to a low weight, made the stupid ED happy. Starting to obsess more over the bones and stuff, did really bad and went on a pro-ana site, then thinking OMG, my weight isn't low at all; I'm fat. I'm a mess. I ran in the rain for an hour this morning, wanted to keep going, but I had to get back in to make lunch. Contemplated another rain run in the afternoon but resisted and read some of my library book. Need a better day tomorrow.
My emotions are all jumbled up; I have no idea how I feel right now. H starts his new job tomorrow, and hopefully, we will get the insurance stuff sorted quickly.
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The EDs sure can keep us wonky can't they? Mine tells me not to eat and then after I finally eat it tells me to eat more...so now I drink water and wait for the ED idea to pass and it does and I don't feel hungry then. I am sick of my scale. I stuck it under the kitchen stand so I don't jump on it so easily.
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One way to get the best out of life is to think of it as an adventure.
William Feather
Medications: Risperidone-1 mg.daily, Propranolol-20 mg. daily, Gabapentin-600 mg daily, Melatonin-3 mg. at bedtime, Nicotine Lozenges-2 mg., Vape Liquid-3 mg., One A Day Vitamins,
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