Yeah, I get it but in the end it is really not about the T or what the T can give you in 50 minutes per week but about you finding your wants and wishes, appropriately expressing them to the people (including but not only T) and getting part of these wants and wishes satisfied. This also creates connection with other people.

For instance, you are starting a post in this forum, which means you are wishing and expecting something from other people. You cannot control other people and so you can't be sure that the respond but you hope it anyway. And people do respond because somehow their post touches them and they are willing to "give you" the response. Not everybody responds every time for various reasons but nevertheless, if you wouldn't start the thread, no one would ever respond because no one would know that there is something you would like to responses about from other people. On the other hand, if you start a thread and no one responds, that would probably make you feel quite bad.

Maybe this example sounds very simple and easy to do compared to what happens in therapy but in principle it is really the same. And of course it is easier to be unaware of your emotional needs but this is a denfencive (although very understandable) position and your T's job is to help you get out of there to start fully living with all your emotions, even if it temporarily hurts.

About the reason right now - it's not that the T wouldn't want to give you the 2xweek or even more. I've understood that he would quite like you to come more often. But similar to your schedule constraints he has his own and if you can't find a solution (which I hope you do) then it's not really because he rejected you and did not purposefully give you what you wanted but truly just couldn't.