Yeah I think Ill be able to avoid the hospital this time around.

The issue was that- I stopped taking my medication, went full blown psychotic, and it was sort of “up in the air” over what to do with me since I really was against hospitalization and wouldnt go voluntarily. I wasnt suicidal, because it was manic psychosis, so there was no immediate threat to self or others, but it was a close call with many many people telling me that I really needed to go to a hospital for safety. I was psychotic to different degrees for several months- I still hallucinate but the strange thinking is pretty much gone and I can tell whats real and what isnt.

Im back to trying to be medication complaint but... the thing is with me... I wish I could say Id never stop my medication again... but I cant honestly 100% claim that. Ive stopped it before and being on medication is not my ideal. I just dont know what Ill do in the future. And I was VERY close to... well. It was a close call.

And so I want to know... if I do need it in the future... how long should I resist going? Is it really- is it worse than long term psychosis? I prefer my own freedom, and I feel like i can handle a lot. And if I could do it again... I probably wouldnt go still.

But is this just stupid?