I think I would like to talk about my T’s age (she’s really young, like very early 30s) in our next session, but I’m really afraid of offending her. I got some feedback in one of my recent posts that I talk should about my fears around growing attached to her and my fears around whether she’d be able to handle that. This has a lot to do with my anxiety around her age because she hasn’t been a therapist for very long and part of me doesn’t think they teach therapists how to handle difficult clients who become overly attached to them in graduate school. I know that’s an assumption on my part, but it seems like the relationship stuff that arise between client and therapist is more something you learn through experience. Another thing - I had a T a few years back who I saw for like6 years. Idk if I’ve posted much about her on this forum, but she really hurt me. I of course became very attached to her and when I went into treatment for my ED, she gave my new T (now ex T) a letter of termination. I didn’t see it coming as she was still contacting me at the time and the plan was I’d continue seeing her while I was in ED treatment. In the letter, it was very cold and she basically said I could no longer contact her. No goodbye session. No reasons for terminating. The only thing that changed up to that point is my fessing up about being attached to her, which she didn’t even respond to. She just left.

Her and new T went to the same graduate school and I’m afraid this is what they’ve been taught: When the client grows attached, you leave. And you leave through a letter without saying goodbye.