This is something my T has tried to teach me very hard (and I'm not a very good student because I'm too arrogant for that). But it seems that something that he has told me in various ways like 100 times (or even if it is not that much, it still has been literally tens of times) has actually sank in.

- If you don't want or don't desire anything then you will pursue anything you want and thus you also cannot enjoy things that you wanted and got.
- It can be difficult to start wanting things from other people because, as you said, then they disappoint you and don't give you what you wanted and what's the point.
- But sometimes they can give you what you want and then you can obtain true enjoy from it (because it was something you really wanted).
- Also, other people are more inclined to make effort to give you something if this is what you really wanted because other people gain pleasure in giving people something that they really want. If you are indifferent then other people are less inclined to make that effort for you. So wanting/getting is a win-win situation.
- The bad side of this is that you don't always get what you want, which generates the feeling of lack.
- The feeling of lack is something to be tolerated but it is necessary in order to want and thus to obtain satisfaction of getting things you want.
- If you never experience lack then it is safe but at the same time it takes away the opportunity to experience satisfaction from getting things you want.

I can assure you that my T has told me those things in many more various wordings and initially I thought that this is all just BS and plain crap. Now I think otherwise but man, it has taken ages.