I went to the hospital once, and believe me it was much better than dying. I checked myself in voluntarily. I would have liked to stay longer actually, but they said I had to leave because I was not suicidal. It was nothing like jail. I had my own room (although sometimes you have a roommate). And we had some group therapy during the day.

Just wanted to let you know that it is not that bad at all. If you need to go to keep yourself safe, I believe you should do it.

About the drinking and smoking, have you thought about joining some addiction support groups? I go to a depression support group that I find very helpful.